Be Driven Not Motivated

Most of my life, being driven was what I needed and it got me through tough situations more than inspiration or motivation. Indeed, when a traumatic experience is happening to a person, their constitution is what gets them through it. But what happens when you’re facing a goal, an endeavor, or just day-to-day living. The drive for survival is the tool that gets you through a bad episode in life but you have to maintain that drive, that focus for the whole of life.

David Goggins says that motivation and inspiration happen mainly when you are happy or already in a state of goodness and happy feelings in life. But you need drive in order to get through life and do the things you need to when things aren’t going great. You have to do them anyway. He is not secretive about this way of thinking in any way, so I’m not giving away any spoilers from his book, Can’t Hurt Me. He talks about it all the time on any podcast, YouTube, etc. I’m actually listening to the Audible version of his book in which David participates in short discussions about each part of his life and the process that made him come to these conclusions in life in which he “callouses his mind” in preparation for handling all of life’s challenges and tests.

I love Audible books and have been gearing towards contemplative work like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***, The Courage to Be Disliked, The Great Work of Your Life, and many other similar types of books that share the philosophy that you and only you are in control of your own life. That philosophy or theory isn’t new. Buddhists and other religions say that all the time but as people, we don’t take the time to listen to each other or to ourselves about what we need to do in order to make our life happen.

There are many steps that I am taking myself to grow and to accomplish my endeavors. I’m calling my goals endeavors rather than referring them to dreams. That’s one thing I have to do. I’ve always had dreams and when one dream got accomplished or given up on, I would move on to another dream. Which worked for me at some points in my life, but it doesn’t work for me all of the time. It’s rather the same concept of inspiration versus drive. I need to first, stop using the word dream. A dream is something that takes place in your subconscious when you hit R.E.M. at night. A dream is not a goal. If I call my goals dreams, it feels less obligatory to fulfill them.

And even though I haven’t accomplished all of my “dreams” in life, I’ve finished pretty close. But that’s what I’m liking about this book, Can’t Hurt Me. There is no finish line in life. You keep going. If I experienced a traumatic childhood event or went through a rough patch when someone close died on me, I have to use that experience to drive me further, not wreck me.

I’m actually enjoying this process. I’ve been on my own journey with chipping away at all the little steps towards completing goals in my life. I’ve been dancing for years and want to keep it in my life while I pursue other passions.

Becoming a real estate agent was another endeavor of mine. I failed the PSI test three times before I finally passed. The whole time, I was working, I was taking care of my kids, pets, teaching dance, and I had to block out time for studying every day. I had no sleep, my schedule reminded me of when I had just given birth to my first child. Sleepless.

And I’m still a little sleepless because I do want to, HAVE to be there for my kids and take care of the pets, etc. The failures of failing three times didn’t discourage me. Each time I failed, I didn’t get despondent. I pushed myself harder. I didn’t have a choice. My kids were looking at me and wondering why I couldn’t pass this test. I kept studying and kept trying.

When I finally passed my PSI test, I took the necessary steps for setting up my business and I’m working on my business every day. The fun doesn’t stop! Because I still need to teach dance – that part isn’t stressful at all except for scheduling. I probably need to teach more just to make sure I get exercise.

Now the work begins. It’s like when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was very uncomfortable in my trimester, I couldn’t wait to give birth. I thought I would be comfortable after her birth, time to rest, get some sleep. Nope. As soon as she was born it was time to be a parent. Just like, as soon as you graduate, pass a certification, achieve a milestone, set-up a business, get an award for excellence, etc. You get less rest, you get to work more. And that is freakin’ exciting to me.



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